


Welcome To My Mansion

by SunsetScomiche



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Bruce Banner Week, CLUE!Verse, Colors, Crack, Gen, Prompt Fill, Reader-Centered, References to Clue | Cluedo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-27 08:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12077556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunsetScomiche/pseuds/SunsetScomiche
Summary: You see, there's been a murder.





	Welcome To My Mansion

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a fill for the prompt "AU Day" in Bruce Banner Week 2017. I've always wanted to tackle this 'verse, so I'm really glad I finally did it, as indulgent and kitschy as it may seem. Enjoy!

Welcome to my mansion. My name is Mr. Anthony Edward Stark, but please, call me Tony. Jarvis will hang your coats in the hall by the fire. Yes, do come in. 

Just to the left here is the lounge. Feel free to join me, and take a seat. I was just about to browse the guest list for the evening. 

Winter will be handling our meal preparations- Er, James Barnes, that is, my senior chef. He came here over twenty years ago, starving for a job in the dead of winter. I told him if he could cook a meal fit for himself and I, he was in. Boy made a damn fine dinner, and he's been here ever since. 

Now then, first to arrive is Clint "Hawkeye" Barton, former specialist with Stark Industries and a long-time friend of mine. Best damn trick shot I know. He shot an apple off a guy's head once with a fucking bow and arrow. I watched. I swear, I almost choked on my Scotch. Barton's long since left SI, though. I hear now he's working for some protections agency called SHIELD, whatever that means. Still, that peacock blue tux he'll undoubtedly be wearing is hilarious. 

Barton is, of course, accompanied by his lovely wife, the actress, Miss Scarlet. Formally known as Natasha Romanov, she is a killer in that red dress and those equally deadly stilettos. I set them up on a blind date back when she first came to work for SI as the assistant to my secretary, and they've been going steady ever since. I'll be very glad to greet them both personally upon their arrival. 

And then there's Dr. Banner. Or, Professor Plum, as I've liked to call him ever since he wore that atrocious magenta button-up to work at the university. He still insists that it's a sensible fashion choice. Poor old boy. He and I are colleagues and friends, and I am very much looking forward to spending this evening chatting with him again. 

Unfortunately, not everyone arriving tonight is a friend.

_What's that?_ Oh. No, madam, not to worry. Mr. Green will not be in attendance tonight. 

As I was saying. Captain Rogers, a military man to the core and a friend of my father's. Never of mine, though, and there's the distinction. I just don't trust a man who constantly looks like he's tasted sour mustard.  

Well, we're all here, so settle in, then. It's time to start the evening, and there's much that needs to be tended to. 

You see, there's been a murder.  

_~Fin~_

**Author's Note:**

> Visit my tumblr for the [original post](https://sunsetscomiche.tumblr.com/post/165067278440/bruce-banner-week-au-day-clueverse) and more from Bruce Banner Week!


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